Feliz Navidad

Merry Christmas guys and hope you have a great NYE party and/or NYD.
Obviously I haven’t posted in a while but due to obvious reasons. Lots of parties, lots of eating, no motivation.
Be safe over the holidays and I will see you all in 2009.
 
 
 

fuck your portmanteaux

I think “chillax” would have to be one of the gayest fucking words to come out of the Y generation.

R.I.P VHS

“No Mum, you don’t need to rewind the DVD when it’s finished.  You just flip it over and play the other side.” 

I’d like to make an appointment

Fucking admin girl.
A task that takes 5 seconds to do is extended to a minute because she has to :
A.    Write down the appointment details in neat, curly handwriting between the lines on the page.
B.    Highlight the appointment entry
C.    Highlight the appointment entry again so that the colour touches the top and bottom lines, carefully [...]

BUSTED!!

Oh C’mon!!! You clearly dress that way because you want to look good, and that you do. But feel some fucking flattery and don’t give me a dirty look when you catch me checking you out.

the friend of felines

What the fuck were you thinking when you woke up this morning? 
Run a brush through your ratty hair and reconsider the dresses you choose to wear because if you continue looking like that, I will continue referring to you as the lady with 15 cats. 

Fake it til ya make it

You don’t receive that many phone calls for you to say “Arg Fuck!” when your phone rings. 

Do you want a fork with that?

The whiteness of your skin does not convince me. 

No matter how good you tell me “this Asian restaurant” is, I still won’t believe you.
But don’t worry, I won’t order any “spicy” dishes when we go. 

The blacks, the whites and the yellows

You can wave at taxis all you want.
Just don’t get angry when the ones with their lights off don’t stop. 
Like…duh! 

Oh no! You chipped a nail.

Words that people like saying in meetings to sound important

Retrospective. Interoperability. Hindsight. Leverage. Streamline. Migration. Integration. Gravity. Revolutionise. Buoyancy. Culmination. Momentum. Uncertainty. Resilient. Relativity. Scalability. Fuckheads. Micro-management. Jeopardy. Collaborative. Application. Obligation. Liquidity. Clarification.

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